I’m Afraid I’m Now a Salted Fish Chapter 4

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Chapter 4: Weibo Sent

　　It actually consumed a lot of energy to try to put on pants in the middle of a hugging and kissing session, not to mention the addition of Mr. Song’s excessive enthusiasm. After the pants were put on halfway, he would become emotional and in the blink of an eye, the pants that took so long to put on were pulled off.
　　Half an hour later, after he carried Chi Song to the shower, he finally helped Chi Song put his pants on.
　　After the incident, both of them were very tired and didn’t want to bother with cooking. They dug around in the refrigerator for a while, looking for something to eat. In the end, they managed to dig out some dumplings.
　　These dumplings had been wrapped by them when they had just gotten together. They had made too many at once, so there were a lot left over.

　　The dumplings somersaulted constantly in the pot. The warm aroma of cooked noodles condensed on the kitchen glass, forming layers of steam and dew.
　　After spreading a floral cover on the fabric sofa, Chi Song laid down and fiddled with his phone, checking Weibo.

　　As soon as he opened Weibo, he received a shock. He craned his neck back to shout at the kitchen. “Zhihuai, did you buy me fans?”
　　Song Zhihuai shouted from far away, “What?”
　　Chi Song rolled over and got up, putting on his slippers as he ran to the kitchen. With a disbelieving expression, he handed the phone to Song Zhihuai.
　　Other than when he shot advertisements, the company would also advertise his name. On normal days, Chi Song’s Weibo would be handled by himself. First of all, he had always gone by the script and had little to say. He didn’t have a troublesome and provocative character. Second of all, he was not popular.

　　Chi Song, who was not popular, gained more than 18,000 fans in half a day. And on his way to the kitchen, he gained over ten more out of thin air.
　　Song Zhihuai was also surprised. “Not bad.”
　　Chi Song’s eyes widened. “They weren’t bought by you?”
　　Capitalist Song Zhihuai said, “If I were to buy you fans, I’d buy you at least a hundred thousand or a million fans, how could I only buy you 18,000? How could the number not end in zeros? If it didn’t, I wouldn’t even want my face anymore.”
　　Chi Song thought about it and felt that Zhihuai was right. He also felt that he had wronged his husband, which wasn’t very good. He got on his tiptoes and kissed Song Zhihuai.
　　Chi Song was not tall. The Baidu Encyclopedia had made a false report and rounded up his height to 180 cm, but he was only 177.5 cm. Compared to Gold Backer Song, who was almost 190 cm, he could only be said to be a cute Corgi.
　　Gold Backer Song, holding a spatula and wearing an apron, readily accepted Chi Song’s kiss.
　　He asked, “Did you post on Weibo?”
　　Chi Song frowned. “Not today.”
　　As he said so, he opened his Weibo.
　　Next, he was dumbfounded.
　　He dazedly squeezed his phone with a grip akin to that of a wooden chicken and panicked: “… I posted on the wrong Weibo this morning.”

　　Like some other stars, Chi Song had a side account.
　　This side account was not used to vent negative emotions, of course. Chi Song had a good temper and a gentle temperament. He had never encountered any trouble that “going to the gym to run and then hug Mr. Song” would not solve.
　　This account was simply used to show off Chi Song’s family’s Siamese cat.

　　Chi Song had found a Siamese kitten when he was abroad. When he found her, she had pneumonia and was very ill. Chi Song took her to the hospital, and carefully took care of her, using a syringe to feed her goat milk, drop by drop.
　　Later, when the kitten became better, she refused to leave Chi Song’s house.
　　While abroad, the cat was called “Moon.” Little Moon.
　　After returning to China, the cat was called “Handsome Song¹“.
　　Just go with the flow, that was the best thing to do.
　　And probably because pets usually took after their owners, the little Siamese preferred to be called “Handsome Song.”

　　Chi Song’s side account was dedicated to showing off Handsome Song’s daily life.
　　Cats were not easy to take pictures of, but any random picture taken of Chi Song’s family’s Handsome Song could be used as a desktop picture. Chi Song really couldn’t restrain his urge to brag and show off, so he often made some small videos of Handsome Song to release.
　　To put it bluntly, in addition to being an actor, he was also a cat blogger.

　　The reason why Chi Song didn’t merge his side account with his main account was due to a few concerns.
　　In the entertainment circle, there was no shortage of haters. Even for a little low-presence actor like Chi Song, there would be a group of people who would diss him, saying that he was ugly, short, dull, had a large face, looked like a plain passer-by, was too forceful when acting, and wanted to become extremely popular in one stroke.
　　He was afraid that if he posted Handsome Song’s daily life on his main account, even Handsome Song would be scolded.

　　But this morning, he accidentally sent the content he planned to send out on his side account through his main account instead.
　　In that little video, Handsome Song was grabbing her nose while yawning. Chi Song’s hand entered the screen, and he hooked his finger at Handsome Song. The voice that had been changed by a voice changer sounded a bit nasally, and it said gently, “Handsome Song, come here.”
　　Handsome Song came over obediently, leaning her face into Chi Song’s fingertips and rubbing them with love.

　　Things like a star’s side account, once discovered, would inevitably cause a storm.
　　There will always be idle people who are willing to read from the first post to the last post of a side account whenever they discover them. If you found material that cursed rivals or found a diss at an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, then everyone could become high on the news for a long time.
　　But Chi Song’s side account was clean. He didn’t mention anything related to anyone in the circle. His account didn’t even have swear words, only a screen full of cute things. He would also discuss with you which brand of molar rubbing sticks was easy to use and which brand of cat scratching post was tasteless.
　　Haters embarked on the journey of looking for incriminating history, only to return disappointed.
　　Of the normal people that embarked on the journey, after looking through a few posts, the majority of them became addicted to watching cats and couldn’t extricate themselves.

　　Chi Song wasn’t without worry. “People wouldn’t scold Handsome Song, right?”
　　Song Zhihuai felt that it was quite funny. “Normal people won’t. As for those lunatics, why would you care about them?”
　　Chi Song still did not dare to read the comments. He stuffed the phone straight into Song Zhihuai’s arms. “Read it, did anyone scold her?”
　　Song Zhihuai took the kitchen paper towels and wiped his hands before taking the phone. While he skimmed through the comments he said, “It’s not like you’ve never been scolded before on the internet. Why do you care so much about Handsome being scolded?”
　　Chi Song said without thinking, “If they scold me, I can scold them back in my heart. Handsome Song can’t scold them back, so she’d be very wronged.”
　　Song Zhihuai asked, “How do you scold them?”
　　The Chi Song who never scolded people felt a little bit stuffy inside.
　　After a while, he reluctantly choked out five words. “… They really are so bad.”

　　Song Zhihuai laughed and lowered his head to kiss Chi Song’s forehead.
　　… He’s too cute.

　　After reading through the comments, Song Zhihuai handed the phone back to Chi Song. “In total, there were three comments scolding Handsome. Below that, there were a total of three hundred comments scolding them.” Every comment was more fierce and powerful than “they really are so bad.”
　　Chi Song blushed slightly. “Three hundred… I’ve never had so many replies on any of my Weibo posts before.”
　　After he finished, he realized that his second boss was standing in front of him.
　　He was a little anxious. “Does this count as trouble?”
　　Song Zhihuai said, “Boss is covering you. Don’t be afraid of trouble.”
　　Chi Song hugged Song Zhihuai’s waist and rubbed against him emotionally.

　　Soon Chi Song, wearing cotton SpongeBob slippers, walked out of the kitchen carrying his phone and his bowl and chopsticks.
　　Song Zhihuai, who was wearing cotton Patrick slippers, spooned the finished dumplings into the bowl, one by one.
　　Handsome Song, who had been sleeping in the room, smelled the fragrance and ran into the kitchen, meowing softly.
　　Song Zhihuai opened the cabinet and skillfully filled Handsome Song’s little bowl with a few spoonfuls of cat food. The bowl was printed with the bitter light blue face of Squidward.
　　He put the cat food bowl down and Handsome Song began to eat in a modest manner.
　　In those days, Mr. Song was a famous yuppie ² in the circle. His family background and taste were top-notch. He wore a pair of high-quality gold-rimmed glasses. He was seven points expensive and three points attitude. He could both afford things and put them down.
　　… Now SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward were a happy family.

　　Before he went to bed, Chi Song gained another 30,000 plus fans.
　　Chi Song was very happy. His face was flushed with excitement, and he said to Song Zhihuai, “They seem like they really like my cat.”
　　Song Zhihuai heard the sad tone underlying this sentence.

　　… Chi Song was an actor, but the attention that was attracted this time was not due to his acting skills.
　　Every year, a large number of TV series were produced in China. Led by Mango, CCXV, Tomato, Lychee, and Blueberry also had their own productions. The TV series broadcast by these stations more or less gained a lot of attention, regardless of quality, because the platforms were first-class.
　　Almost all of the TV series joined by Chi Song were broadcasted on local TV stations.
　　The reception was average, the quality was average, and they could even be said to be like those lightning shows that rely on costumes, with low reputations but high ratings. It’s the kind that young people turned away from at first glance, but uncles and aunts loved to watch. However, even they only watched because of the protagonists. If they saw Chi Song, at most they praised him once or twice, saying that his acting wasn’t bad.
　　And most young people lacked the patience and wouldn’t be able to watch for more than two minutes. They would be scared away by the plot and run away lightning fast.
　　Despite this, Chi Song was still working hard to join those dramas, so that his professional skills wouldn’t be wasted. Every bad drama was used as a first-class resource to perform. The notes he took filled up one book after another.
　　Salted Fish Chi Song didn’t just work hard. He also really liked acting.

　　In addition, Song Zhihuai remembered clearly what happened when he first brought Chi Song to meet friends.
　　Someone called out as soon as they saw Chi Song.
　　”Hey, aren’t you that one person?” He knocked his head in distress, and finally knocked out the name from his memory, “Little Baizi!”
　　Chi Song held a cocktail glass and his eyes were bright. “Yes, I was Little Baizi.”
　　The others all asked, “Who’s Little Baizi?”
　　The first man yelled, “You don’t remember Little Baizi? The murderer protagonist Bai Yao in the “Swimming Murder Case”? He played Bai Yao’s childhood character! “
　　While he spoke, he patted Chi Song’s shoulder intimately. “His singing is very good! I remember when he grew up to kill people, he still hummed that song in his mouth… Isn’t that right?”
　　Chi Song nodded obediently, “Yes.”
　　That man handed over a microphone and urged, “Come come come. Sing it again, sing that, Flying Bug, right?”
　　As he said so, the man signaled with his eyes at Song Zhihuai.
　　Song Zhihuai was angered.
　　He saw that this group of people didn’t really like Chi Song’s character at all, but just wanted to tease and play around with him.
　　Clearly, Chi Song seemed like he didn’t realize this at all, and said, “Okay.”
　　Song Zhihuai grabbed the microphone and threw it onto the sofa. “What’s okay?! Go!”
　　Dragging Chi Song out of KTV, Song Zhihuai burst out in anger, “Whatever people tell you to do, you just do? You’ll just let people bully you this way?”
　　But Chi Song used only one sentence to dispel Song Zhihuai’s anger.
　　”If other people told me to sing, I wouldn’t just casually agree.” Chi Song looked at Song Zhihuai, saying earnestly, “… But those people were your friends.”

　　Chi Song was very obedient and very good, but his comprehension was also very high.
　　He knew that Song Zhihuai’s friends were just playing with him. He also knew that these new fans who followed him were actually just following his cat.
　　But he won’t be too angry. He felt that as long as everyone was happy, then everything was good.

　　Unfortunately, Song Zhihuai did not feel the same.
　　For Chi Song’s sake, he put many of his impetuous friends in his blacklist. For Chi Song’s sake, he could also turn this side account incident into a booster for Chi Song’s career.
　　After Chi Song fell asleep nestled in his arms, Song Zhihuai picked up his phone and contacted his company’s public relations department.

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Translator’s Note: So! I have decided- since the first three chapters are done and the weekend is over (so I don’t have as much time to translate)- I will set up a semi-schedule! It’s really very stressful to just upload as I finish, since I always have the creeping sensation that I am behind an imaginary deadline, haha. Especially since I’m getting busier with another translating job that started up today! I was thinking… two/three chapters a week: Wednesday (Tuesday for this week, I guess!), Saturday and/or Sunday. The Saturday/Sunday extra update will depend on whether I have extra time that week. How does this sound?

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Footnotes:

[1]: Handsome Song (宋英俊, sòng yīng jùn)- yes, it’s the same “Song” as the “Song” in “Song Zhihuai” (宋致淮, sòng zhì huái). ^-^ ↩

[2]: yuppie (雅痞, yǎ pǐ)- a young person with a well-paid job and a fashionable lifestyle. ↩