I’m Afraid I’m Now a Salted Fish Chapter 15

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Chapter 15: Surprise Visit

　　Mother Chi remembered that Chi Song had his own house in the suburbs of Beijing and he had given her a set of keys.
　　When he had given her the keys in the beginning, Chi Song had spun the key ring in a circle, shaking them in front of her. His laughing eyes turned into two thin, warm, curved little moons. “Mom, look. I have a den now.”
　　Mother Chi was amused. “What den or no den. This is your home.”
　　Chi Song put his arm around her shoulders and said, “Wherever my loved ones are is my home. If you and Dad aren’t here, then how can this be my home?”

　　People always said that having a daughter was like having a warm, clingy little cotton-padded jacket. Mother Chi always felt that having Chi Song was like having three sets of warm cotton underclothes.

　　After riding overnight on the train to arrive in Beijing, Mother Chi carried her bags, big and small, as well as a plastic bucket. She hurriedly took the subway and transferred to the public bus, finally arriving at Chi Song’s door at 7 o’clock in the morning.
　　She used the key to open the door. Mother Chi found that the little one bedroom, one living room house was messy and full of life. The kitchen had a half-eaten takeout pizza. The bathroom didn’t have any shower gel left, and urgently needed restocking.
　　And Chi Song was bundled in blankets and sprawled on the bed, sleeping especially soundly.
　　There was a big bulge beside his blanket, which obviously held the sleeping Handsome Song.
　　Mother Chi was relieved. She opened the air-conditioning panel and turned the temperature up for him.Then, she went to fold his clothes.

　　Chi Song was awakened by the roar of the running washing machine.
　　He laid on the bed in a daze for a while. When he saw the air conditioning turned up to 79 degrees, he became convinced that his mother had really arrived.
　　He slowly got up, stretched his head out covertly to look, and heard the sound of vegetables being chopped in the kitchen. Then, he sneakily pulled out a thin, high-necked sweater from his closet and put it on, covering the little strawberry marks that Mr. Song had left on his neck last night.

　　… Two hours earlier.

　　At exactly 5 o’clock, Song Zhihuai tapped Chi Song awake.
　　Chi Song sleepily opened his eyes and hugged Song Zhihuai. Then, he bit his ears, wanting to sleep some more, but he was unexpectedly lifted up.
　　Song Zhihuai took the luggage he packed and firmly said, “Chi Song, you have to go home to live for two days.”

　　Song Zhihuai was very shrewd. He hung up on the phone call with Mother Chi, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt something was wrong. He immediately packed Chi Song’s luggage and Handsome Song’s cat food bowl. He also called the company that helped Chi Song move, asking them to go to Chi Song’s house, tear off all the dust covers on the furniture, and put on new sofa covers and sheets.
　　At 5 o’clock in the morning, he dragged the still sleeping Chi Song out of the blankets, pulling the packed luggage and cat carrier in preparation to move homes temporarily, in case Mother Chi was worried and came for a surprise inspection.

　　He didn’t expect that Mother Song really came this fast.

　　Chi Song finished dressing and sneaked to the kitchen. He stretched out his head and pretended to be surprised. “Mom? How did you come?”
　　… As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Chi Song felt frustrated. This line was definitely the unparalleled, most awkward, most terrible thing he had said this year.

　　But the laywoman Mother Chi didn’t care much.
　　When she heard her son’s voice, she came out from the smoke and fire to nag, “How could I not come? Look, this house is so messy. The clothes are thrown all over the place and there’s no one to clean them up! Even though it’s said, no matter if the house is gold or silver, it can’t compare to your own house, your house still can’t be such a wreck! … And, sleeping with the air-conditioning temperature turned to 62 degrees, are you afraid that you won’t catch a cold? If you catch a cold when you live by yourself, who will come take care of you? Huh?”
　　Chi Song listened to her nagging and his eyebrows carried a smile. He walked over to hug the middle-aged woman’s waist and said quietly, “Mom, thanks.”
　　Mother Chi was shocked. “My gosh, I got goosebumps all over!”
　　Chi Song snorted heatedly and reached out to lift the steamer lid. “You’re boiling shrimp?”
　　Mother Chi knocked his hand away. “You’ve always had a keen nose since you were young! I know that you love to eat shrimp, so I specially went to your Uncle Zhang’s house to get some. I got about thirteen pounds of both green prawns and white shrimp. Every single one is a good shrimp. I also got you four pounds of rice eel.”
　　She stretched out her foot to tap the plastic bucket and said, “I will stew three shrimp for you this morning. In the afternoon, I’ll make you stir-fried rice eel. The extra shrimp will be put in the refrigerator so you don’t have to eat take-out all the time.”
　　Chi Song hooked an arm around Mother Chi’s shoulders and grinned cheekily. “Mom, how are you so virtuous?”
　　Mother Chi took out the spatula and drove him away in disgust. “Get out, get out. Don’t try to sweet-talk me when you’re useless in the kitchen. If you can’t be helpful, don’t add to the chaos.”
　　Chi Song was quite innocent. “This is me trying to make you happy.”
　　Mother Chi said, “What are you trying to make me happy for? You should be going to try and make girls happy.
　　Chi Song immediately wilted.

　　After dinner was served and she had a face-to-face meal with Chi Song, Mother Chi suddenly said, “Oh right, doesn’t your TV show re-air at nine o’clock in the morning today? Turn on the TV, I want to watch it.”
　　Chi Song obediently turned on the TV while thinking, good thing Mr. Song paid the cable, water, and gas bills last night. Otherwise, he would really be stuck.

　　When he moved out of this little den to go live in Song Zhihuai’s house, Chi Song wanted to rent out the house, since it was better than just letting it sit and collect dust. But then, he found that he couldn’t bear to let other people live in it.
　　After all, before he had met Song Zhihuai, he had worked hard and lived alone for three years. During that time, he had lived in this little one bedroom, one living room house. Every single tile here was personally picked by him from the home furnishing market. He was really reluctant to leave it to others.
　　Song Zhihuai saw his hesitation, so he directly told him his thoughts. “Just let this house remain here. If we ever fight later, you will still have a place that you can go to after you leave home, and I will still have a place where I can find you.”

　　But Chi Song and Song Zhihuai had never fought from the time they met to now, so this house had never been used.
　　Now, Chi Song was incomparably grateful that he had not rented it out.

　　Mother Chi watched with relish as the false love and hatred acted out in the entertainment circle started to play on the TV.
　　Soon, the part where Chi Song and Brother Harry acted together came. The two chatted in the car for a while, with Brother Harry persuading the Chi Song who had abandoned himself to despair to cheer up quickly.
　　In this section of the episode, the director deliberately added some BL material, making Brother Harry, who was sitting in the driver’s seat, unbuckle the seat belt of Chi Song, who was sitting in the passenger’s seat.

　　Mother Chi suddenly said, “I heard people on the Internet say that you and the actor of that Bai Yao are gay for each other?”
　　Chi Song’s heart jumped.
　　The older generation didn’t remember the names of celebrities, preferring to remember the names of their roles instead. Father Chi and Mother Chi always called Brother Harry “Bai Yao.”

　　Chi Song smiled reluctantly. “Mom, the censorship is so strict right now. Shows with homosexual love plots won’t be aired so easily.”
　　He thought for a bit and found a more appropriate term to summarize this rotten plot. “Brother Harry’s role is more like my senior… or my comrade?”
　　Mother Chi said, “That that’s good.”
　　Chi Song relaxed. “What year is it now, for you to still discriminate against homosexual love?”
　　Mother Chi didn’t even lift her head and continued to eat as she said, “Homosexuals all have an illness.”
　　Chi Song immediately felt a little short of breath, not knowing whether to tell her about how he had already become terminally ill.
　　Mother Chi watched TV for a little more before suddenly asking, “What about your personal assistant Little Song?”

　　An hour later, amid the fragrance of rice eel, Song Zhihuai finally arrived.
　　As soon as he saw Song Zhihuai, Chi Song choked. He almost didn’t recognize him.
　　The gentle and elegant gold-rimmed glasses were replaced by plain vinyl glasses. Song Zhihuai was wearing the two hundred yuan couple’s shirt that he had bought from a stall when he was shopping with Chi Song. He also didn’t know from where in the world those brown crocs came from.
　　Even when he was dressed like this for Mother Chi’s first meeting with him face to face, she still only made a surprised “oh” sound. “This young man is very energetic.”
　　Upon meeting his mother-in-law for the first time, Song Zhihuai gave a polite bow. “Hello, Auntie.”
　　Seeing Song Zhihuai’s polite thoughtfulness, Mother Chi relaxed even more. She told him a lot of things about Chi Song, like telling him to not turn the air conditioner to such a low temperature, or that he can’t give Chi Song alcohol to drink because he was allergic to it.

　　Song Zhihuai, who had long known about these things, nodded his head constantly. “Okay, Auntie. I’ve remembered everything.”
　　Mother Chi breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, I feel reassured now. I’ll leave in a bit.”
　　Chi Song was startled unconsciously. “Mom, you just came… don’t you want to rest a little before you go? Going back home from here will take at least five hours of driving.”
　　Mother Chi shook her head. “I’ve already asked your brother to buy the noon tickets. And, I also arranged to go dancing with your Aunt Zhang tonight. I couldn’t possibly break my word. The day after tomorrow is the competition. Your mom is going to win the gold medal.”
　　Chi Song was still a little reluctant. “In a bit, I’ll take you… “
　　”The rice eel is in the pot.” Mother Chi waved her hand. “Later, I’ll let Little Song send me there. You can stay and watch the fire at home.”

　　After Song Zhihuai left, Chi Song walked several laps around the house, not knowing what he should do.
　　Handsome Song had finished sleeping and had also eaten many bites of shrimp, so she came out of the bedroom contentedly. When she saw that her owner was in a bad mood, she immediately ran up, pulling his slippers with her paws. She tilted her little head, her face full of doubt. “Meow~ow~?”
　　Chi Song leaned over and picked up Handsome Song. He sat on the sofa and absentmindedly stroked the soft hair on her back. His mother’s voice echoed in his head.
　　… Homosexuals have an illness. Have an illness, have an illness, have an illness.

　　On this temporary stage, Chi Song enacted a sad scene.

　　When Mother Chi came, she had been carrying bags both big and small, but when she left, she only had a small handbag.
　　Song Zhihuai didn’t drive his own car here. Instead, he had picked an ordinary car from the company. He gently invited Mother Chi into the car and helped her fasten the seat belt.
　　Mother Chi didn’t say much the whole way.
　　It wasn’t until they were almost at the Guangzhou South Railway Station and the traffic became congested that Song Zhihuai finally heard Mother Chi open her mouth to speak. “Little Song is a good child.”
　　Song Zhihuai nodded. He agreed with this point.
　　Mother Chi continued, “The cost incurred from him going abroad was all paid for by the shows he acted in when he was little. After he went abroad, he didn’t want us to accompany him, saying that he was afraid of holding us back from living our lives. He said that since he had an uncle in England, he also didn’t lack people to take care of him.”
　　”After that, he returned. I discussed with his father and said that we would buy him a suite in Beijing, but he refused, saying that he could buy it himself. After a year and a half, he paid the down payment.”
　　Song Zhihuai said, “Chi Song is very independent.”
　　Mother Chi replied, “Yes. He doesn’t need to rely on anybody to live well.”
　　As she said so, she raised her head and looked at Song Zhihuai through the rear view mirror. “… So, Chief Song, could you let go of my family’s Little Song?”

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Translator’s Note: OMG the break-up request with(out) money!!!!! And Mother Chi was a bit harsh here about homosexuality… I’ll just pin it on her older generation way of thinking! At least she’s doing this because she loves Chi Song, wuwuwu! I hope in the end, she will accept and bless the two… T^T.

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